The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Another day, another engagement, another cat
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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