thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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