there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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