If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
