Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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