Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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