it glows. i had to have it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
