Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
