This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
