Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
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