i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
