She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
