I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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