i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
