scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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