yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am midnight drunk by noon
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
