She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
