my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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