Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
time to smoke my breakfast
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
