escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize