update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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