Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
