1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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