how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
