In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
