I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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