been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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