Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
