OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
