I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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