I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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