meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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