We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
