I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
