You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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