So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Let's get the cat blown out
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
