You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
high people should be assigned attendants
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
