Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
