You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am one with the molecules
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
