The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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