There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
