hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
