I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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