I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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