What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
