what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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