I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
