If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
