oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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