Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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