Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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