Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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